So you spent the last week crying? Go to sleep with every episode of How I Met Your Mother playing in the background? Call every single member of your support system at the most random hours of the night? Cry by the water and get advice from a wise old man? Tell everyone at work and make them vow to never visit any of his bars (but that he’s a good person)? Good.
Now get over it.
He is probably over you and you need to be over him too. Remember, HE dumped YOU, not the other way around. You always said you could never give 100% of yourself to someone, if they didn’t give 100% back. And it may have been 100% at some point in the relationship from both sides, but somewhere the balance was gone and you have to move on from that.
Yes, you know that you will always love him for the memories you made together, for how he made you feel, for helping you finally move on from the doctor. He came into your life for a reason and maybe that was it.
Mom said if you truly love him, you have to give him space and let him go. Do that, Alex. You have to. Otherwise you would’ve just prolonged the break up. You knew that in the grand scheme of your relationship with him that there was going to be a break up at some point – a break up where you both would have to go through major life changes. You have to let him go. And he may come back.
But DO NOT bank on that.
So here is what you have to do now:
Cut your hair short, like you’ve been wanting to do for a long time. [Check!]
Run a marathon / start bouldering and rock climbing again
Spend long late nights with your girls
Do not date anyone until you’re absolutely ready and completely over him. Otherwise it’s just a rebound.
Reclaim places, foods, things that you may have associated with him and disassociate! Just because you used to always go to that bagel place doesn’t mean you should stop going because you guys broke up. Buy that damn bagel and reclaim that bagel shop as a place just for YOU.
Reflect on what you might have done wrong in the relationship so it won’t happen again in future relationships.
Just keep busy and be awesome again, Alex. You have to admit, you lost some of yourself again in this one, like you did with the last one. Yes, you were able to manage your time and do things that you liked to do on your own, but go 1000% this time, okay?
Just remember that you were in love and that is one of the most beautiful things humans can give and receive. You know in your heart that he is an incredible person with so much potential just waiting to get out. Don’t be afraid to be his friend. Know that you will always be fine and you should just cherish this relationship for what it was. People cross paths for a reason and you never know what can happen in a day, a week, a month, or a year.